Have you had sleepless nights thinking of your ex?  Have you been depressed over your failed relationship?

It happened to me in my teenage years when I broke up with my first love… or you can say, he dumped me.  I was totally confused, angry, suspicious… and I had the lowest esteem that anyone could ever have.  I looked terrible; I felt terrible and a TOTAL FAILURE.

Then, one day, I started my heartbreak diary. Try it… it works.

You may have kept a diary for things like the loss of a pet or a family member, sadness at moving away from your friends, or any number of sad life events.

One night, just couldn’t sleep thinking about it… I started my heartbreak diary.  I wrote a dear diary entry and slept that night.

Whenever you feel that feeling coming, whip up that diary and just share that feeling or story… If you are into poems, just pen them out.

Keeping a heartbreak diary helps… HEAPS.  It is an excellent medium for self-expression.  Don’t care about wrong grammar. Just write down your feelings, just like when you talk, even if it is as hard as that may be.  Just write about what matters to you, how you feel and what is going on INSIDE.

So, whenever, I something happened or I thought it happened; something mean towards me, etc, I will start an entry in my heartbreak diary.  I kept it SECRET.  Yes, you don’t want anyone to read it… not until you are ready to reveal it… (definitely not for your baby brother to digest).  For me, not even my Mom or Dad.  No one at all.  Probably only GOD.

A heart break is hard to experience.  Start your heartbreak diary today.  I can assure you that it will make you feel better and possibly help you heal from the pain of a break-up.

An important early step in getting over a break-up or any sad situation is simply facing the pain.  While it might feel better to avoid dealing with the reality of the situation, you can’t really move past it without facing it and feeling the pain, at least for a while.  So facing up to whatever painful situation is happening is necessary.  A heartbreak diary can help you deal with those painful feelings when you have split with someone you love and face with love’s disappointments.

I didn’t realize that this heartbreak diary really helps.  It just got all my hurts out.  Although, at times, the hurts keep coming back, I wrote it down and indirectly, I faced up to it and manage to let those hurts go and out of my system.

Writing your heartbreak diary could well, probably be a very emotional time for you.  Don’t try to stop it.  Just let the pain out and you’ll be better able to move on.

You know what, I eventually got over my love.  I realized he was not wanting me as much as I wanted him.  And, boy, the feelings in my diary was… unmentionable.  At times, hate seems to be everywhere.  I should say; Love and Hate… both of these feelings are so close together.

Eventually, after a couple of years, I had a chance to re-read my diary again.  I had stopped writing in my heartbreak diary.  I could have shared it with my now husband of mine… but, decided against it… my husband would probably not understand the intense emotions of a break-up and love/hate experience that I went through and he probably would have misunderstood my feelings for my ex.

And then… one day, sometime later… I burned that diary.  And, I never looked back.  Life goes on.  And, I was a happy person.  I should say, I loved that diary because it saved my life.  God saved my life.  You can have that too.

Some people put their heartbroken thoughts and even poems online.  There are websites designed just for such things.  You can upload your poetry for free and let other people know if you want to receive criticism or not.  You might opt to not receive comments on your heartbroken thoughts and poems and just enjoy the fact that you’ve shared your experience.

Do let me know what you think about this article.

Take care and God Bless!
Shawna

Technorati Tags: heartbroken diary, heartbroken poems, how to mend a broken heart, love and hate

In the last post, I talked about why men leave. You can read about it here: Why Men Leave Women

Women are truly amazing. And they will put up with a lot of crap without ever thinking about leaving a relationship as long as they feel ONE primary emotion.

Surprisingly, compared to men, it was much easier for relationship experts and psychologists to pinpoint why a woman leaves a man, than it was the other way around.

And if they feel this one emotion…they are incredibly loyal! A rich and handsome multi-millionaire can pay them a great compliment…and sure…they will feel flattered…but they are not about to leave a man they love and that makes them FEEL APPRECIATED.

Women want, need and crave APPRECIATION.

The most common remark and underlying message when women were asked in studies and polls on why they left a man was.

“He never appreciated anything I did for him!”

Now…when a woman stops feeling appreciated. Your relationship is in big trouble…

A woman will not stay in a relationship and WILL LEAVE if she feels that you do not appreciate her.  This is one of the underlying reasons why infidelity is so devastating to a woman.

If you have had an affair…they immediately feel that YOU have ZERO appreciation for them.

And this is almost always why the very first question after a woman learns of an infedility is ….”Do You Love Her?” asking if you love the woman you had the affair with.. or was it just a fling?

Also, your girl is much more likely to fall prey to another man who comes in and shows her even the tiniest bit of appreciation.  If a woman has left you, your very first steps are to start letting her know that you APPRECIATE her.

Now…a BIG WARNING.

Women seem to have a built in LIE DETECTOR and if you try to BS them… they will know!… and if you do not do it correctly, you are going to do more damage than good.

Also, a major mistake men make when trying to show their appreciation, is not understanding that men and women have VERY DIFFERENT WAYS OF KEEPING SCORE.

To get your woman back, you have to let her know that you appreciated and still do appreciate her.  You cannot just tell her…you have to show her as well, and you have to know HER scoring system.  How SHE keeps score.

These are actually really easy things to learn. If you still appreciate your girl, which I am assuming you do if you are wanting to get her back, you have to know how to SHOW HER.

Here is one of the absolutely best guides you will find on getting your girl back by showing and proving to her how much you appreciate her…it is called

The Magic Of Making Up… CLICK HERE to find out more!

You can have it right now and get started today because it is set up as an INSTANT DOWNLOAD.

Go grab your copy of The Magic Of Making Up right now… CLICK HERE to find out more! It only cost peanuts…seriously…it will be the best money you ever spend…You will know EXACTLY what to do to get your GIRL BACK and be surprised at how well your ex responds to what you have learned. IT WORKS…PERIOD!

Click Here To Get Your Copy of The Magic Of Making Up NOW!

Hey…let me give you a little WARNING The Magic Of Making Up is awesome…but the website is a little weird, but very entertaining.

An ending note for BOTH Men and Women. Every minute you wait is another minute that you risk having ANOTHER man or ANOTHER woman making YOUR MAN feel admired…or YOUR WOMAN feeling appreciated.

So for some odd reason you don’t grab The Magic Of Making Up… CLICK HERE for instant access…

— which for the life of me I can’t see why you wouldn’t

Men go out there and make your woman feel appreciated…and ladies go make your make your man feel admired again!

Have questions? I’d love to hear from you!

Drop Me A Line!

Technorati Tags: affection, appreciation, why women leave men

Confused? Most men AND women are very confused when someone they care for deeply exits a relationship. Their ex boyfriends, girlfriends and spouses give MANY and varied reasons why they left. They give so many reasons that put together they make NO since. To add to the confusion, it seems the “reasons” change every time you ask!

The good news is there is one core reason why men leave women…and one core reason a woman will leave a man…

Man and women are very different

You are about to learn THE REAL REASON which is NOT only crucial for you to understand if you want ANY chance of getting them back… but also will help you keep the relationship on track once you are back together.

Why Men Leave Women

Men! They give several…if not a dozen different reasons they don’t want to be around anymore. Are they trying to confuse you on purpose?

No not at all…polls and relationship studies show varied “reasons” men give are often because they have problems sorting out their own feelings…and have trouble putting their feelings into words. It was even quite a challenge for relationship experts and psychologists to sort it all out!

Dr. John Gray and other experts concluded from hundreds of different responses that men primarily… start losing interest… and will eventually leave a relationship when they stop feeling ADMIRED.

Men want to feel ADMIRED

Men want to feel ADMIRED – more like a knight in shining amour!  When they stop feeling admired this is a major frontal attack on not only their self esteem, but calls their “manhood” into question.

Now, at first this may seem all to simple, and a little unbelievable.  But when you start to give it some thought…you will realize how TRUE it really is.

And you can bet dollars to donuts… that no red-blooded man is going to say… I don’t feel admired anymore.

Let’s talk about some common situations that go on around the world everyday.

Harry meets Sally. And when they first meet Sally is quite taken with Harry and she lets him know it very often by giving him many compliments… but most importantly… Sally always is smiling and seems VERY HAPPY when Harry is around.

This is a MAJOR clue… You see men measure by and large how well they are doing in a relationship… and how “admired” they are by.

How happy their woman appears to them!

To a man: HAPPY WOMAN = ADMIRATION

THIS IS WHY…in thousands of men polled on of the recurring reasons over and over about why a man left was the following statement:

“No matter what I did… I couldn’t make her happy anymore.”

This is ALSO the #1 reason why a man will CHEAT. While we watch movie after movie that seems to portray a man going after a “prettier” woman, this is far from the truth why a man cheats.

If a man does not feel admired in the relationship he is in, when another woman comes along and makes him FEEL ADMIRED…then that relationship is at risk of infidelity.

A smily, happy and giggly coworker that showers him with compliments and beams whenever he walks in the room… is an incredible ADMIRATION builder and turn on for a man…that does NOT feel admired at home.

This has much LESS affect, and is NOT a threat when a man feels admired at home.  It may be “nice”, like when a woman receives a compliment from another man but is happy with her partner.

So you maybe wondering, if you have to go around like a gitty, giggly, school girl to get your man back?

Not at all.  Think about this, a man feels admired when the woman he is with is HAPPY with him.  There are dozens of things that you can do, but it is important to understand that one of the key killers, that men complain most often about it is nagging.

Nagging is the fastest killer of a man feeling admired.

Does that mean you can’t express your feelings about what you want?  You most certainly can you just have to do it in a more effective way.

So how do you start to get your ex back?  You start making him feel admired again

…but at the same time… you need to keep YOUR dignity… and get what you want!

This is very easy to do once you learn a few skills.  If you are serious about getting your “man” back; keeping him once you have got him back or even if you are in a good relationship now and want to ensure a long healthy relationship.

I want you to go grab this book right now…  It is called The Magic Of Making Up… CLICK HERE to get it now! will show you exactly what you need to do to make your fella feel admired again… and at the SAME TIME… keep your dignity and get what you want and need from your relationship.

This is what they call an electronic book or eBook… which means you can download it instantly… and start in the next 5 minutes.

It is very inexpensive…but more importantly  The Magic Of Making Up is surprisingly effective…you will be amazed at how well it really works…

The Magic Of Making Up… CLICK HERE & Get Your Copy!

An Advance Apology: The Magic Of Making Up is very effective…but the website looks a little “cheesy”

Technorati Tags: magic of making up review, men wants to be admired, reason for breakup, why men leave women

If you really want to know how to handle a break up and get over someone you love, you must realize that none of the answers here are easy ones. No matter what, braze yourself and start accepting that it is going to be a painful process. Sometimes it is a slow process. Memories may remind you later on in life the pain of the break up but it doesn’t mean that you are not over the person.

If you’ve had a lot emotionally invested into a relationship and it ends, it’s something that can potentially make you feel sad for years. Maybe even for the rest of your life. But, braze yourself and understand that it doesn’t mean that the sadness has to paralyze your life and throw you into depression.

Try getting over the person. It’s hard at this time but you need to occupy your mind with other things, new things that you were interested in before you had your relationship. After a period of time after the loss, you should have come out of it…. and overcome your heartache and sadness.

It’s going to hurt, no matter what you do. But there are some things you can do to lessen the pain. You can remove obvious visual reminders of the person, if possible. Photographs of your relationship should be put away for a while. Gifts he or she gave you should be stored away instead of being displayed.   You can even avoid the places you used to go together for a while.  This tip can be found in pretty much every list that explains how to get over someone you love, so it’s at least a popular idea that’s worth a try.

If you’re really having trouble living your life after the break up, it might be necessary to seek counseling. Simply explain that you’ve just been through a painful break up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you love. They can offer helpful advice, and can be more specific that generic lists about how to get over someone you love.   A counselor can also probably offer better advice than friends or family.

Your friends and family might feel they know your situation too well. Some may have motives for help you get over the person. They might not have liked that you were in the relationship to begin with, so they might want you to get over things or move on to another person too quickly. With a counselor, though, you can safely tell them things about the relationship you probably don’t want friends or family to even know.

There are several counseling hotline for the distraught in relationships… if you need to call.  Or, confide in your mom or dad or even sister or brother.  Grieve if you must but don’t spending too much time dwelling on how to get over someone you love.

Don’t forget to get access to “Get A Guy Guide full package”

Very few people choose to take action on something when they don’t act on it right away. With that in mind, if you don’t take action right now, will you be in the relationship of your dreams 6 months from now? A year? Will you truly grow from this experience, or will it haunt you in the future?

Click HERE To Learn More

Technorati Tags: finding a relationship counselor, handling a break up

Have you realize that long term relationships are very difficult to sustain?  After years of dating and courtship, we see these relationships suffer from lot’s of misunderstandings, arguments and problems… which are inevitable to some extend because that’s life.

Couples who do not know how to get over these problems eventually will suffer and the relationship breaks up.  But there are also other reasons why a couple break up because there is no love anymore.  They can’t understand each other anymore or just that one of them is bored in this relationship.

Although, she say that she still loves you deeply but she just wants a breakup?

Let’s say that a few days ago, your girlfriend of just over two years told you that she needs a break; she still says that she loves you and want you to be together some day, but right now she needs some space, a break in order to settle her minds. What should you do?

First of all you should try to ask her the reasons, doesn’t she likes someone else? Maybe she won’t tell you the truth and keep telling you a lie in the face, but let her know that by breaking up, she risked losing you forever.  So if she really cares about you she will be a little worried if this is a game that she is playing and this would mean she would be losing you.

Accept her breakup

You should confront her and tell her that she is right, and you had also felt too trapped just lately and you had considered that it is also best for both of you to have a breakup, even this is not what you want and your heart is broken.

If a girl asks for a breakup in a relationship, you have to give her that.  And, if she still loves you as she said then she will come back to you. If she tells you that she will call you, you’ve better wait until she decides to do it.

Do not try to contact her, or call her, give her the time she needs.

Try not to desperately get her back.  This may backfire as she will feel that you are not giving her space and do not love her enough to respect this decision to breakup and may cause her to draw further away from you and then you will never get her back.  Leave her alone, be busy and she will be sorry for letting you go.

Sometimes it’s not the end yet as she just needs a break from the relationship as opposed to a breakup. Maybe you haven’t been the best boyfriend she ever wanted.  Or maybe she is making new friends, venturing on her own, enjoying the single life, having second thoughts about the relationship or she is outgrowing you; she is having fun right now, but having you as a boyfriend may not really fit into her new life.

She is not quite ready to let you go, but she wants to be able to meet other guys, without resorting to cheating on you.

Another reason why she wants a breakup is that she is not quite ready to let you go, but she wants to be able to meet other guys, without resorting to cheating on you.  Or she just met a new boy that she likes but she is not sure if she wants to stay with him or you.

Go for a date with her if she still calls you for a date sometimes

What happens if she still calls you, asks for a date sometime, but she doesn’t tell you that she wants to get back together again?  The best thing you can do is to show her that you are fine without her, even if your heart is broken.

All girls are the same: when a girl it feels unwanted, is ready to do anything in order to be wanted again; so if she doesn’t come running back it means that she didn’t care too much about you in the first place.

Wait a little longer for her to come back

You have to wait a little longer after her, but not too much.  If she is sure that you love her, she will likes to be in this situation: she feels that she still has a boyfriend when she wants too, and also it is free to find someone new. You may feel this is really unfair, that’s what the relationship is all about.

You do not need me to tell you exactly what to do… but I want you to understand the whole matter of the situation and you just need to TAKE CONTROL of what’s happening in yourself and take the right actions for yourself.

Let go and start dating other girls

So start letting go of your feelings for her right now and start dating other girls in the meantime.  Don’t do this if you just want to “get back” at her.  That’s being childish and immature.  Be a man.

You can start dating again because it is not considerate cheating and you are not a couple anymore, you are separated. It is the only way for you to move on with your life and if by some chance the two of you get back together someday, it will be on your terms. So go out with your own friends and have some fun.

When people decided to take a breakup, what they are really doing is taking time to see if there is somebody more suited for them out there.  So, you must think better because your girlfriend doesn’t care about herself more than she cares about you.

This article was brought to you by Just Get My Ex Back If you like what you read, sign up for my RSS feed by clicking on this link here: Subscribe to Just Get My Ex Back by Email or download your FREE ebook here: Download Personality Quadrants Dating Guide Now

Technorati Tags: Breakup Survival, dating, flirt, Get My Ex Back, get my ex girlfriend back, love, marriage, romance, seduction, winning my ex back

When you become convinced that your dating relationship is not what you want, breaking up with your partner is by far one of the most difficult thing to do if both of you have been together for a long time or have been very close.  How you do this may affect the chances of having this person as a friend in the future, or you may loose this person’s friendship althogether.

Unless your partner had a negative influence on your life, you will probably want to maintain his or her friendship.  These are some guidelines for a graceful breakup:

1. Don’t lead someone on when you want out

Sometimes it is easier to continue to be together than facing the situation because you do not want to to hurt the other person.  After a while, you find that your partner begins to treat you badly (being scarcastic, inconsiderate, unthoughtful, being selfish and even abusive), hoping you will get the hint and want out of the relationship just as badly.

Prolonging the pain by treating a person disrespectfully is a mean thing to do.

2. Break up face-to-face

The breakup will easier to accept if you at least have the guts to face the person you are breaking up with.  Facing the person shows respect.  Breaking up over the telephone, where you can discuss the situation together is the next best way.

It may be the 21st century, but some people resort to sending text message to breakup with their partner or even telling they want a divorce is downright irresponsible and unthoughtful.

Avoid a “Dear Mark” letter, and do not ask someone to do your dirty work for you.  Can you imagine how it makes the other person feel when he or she hears about your plans to breakup from another person?

3.  Don’t say too much

Be truthful – but not brutally truthful.  You do not have to try and justify why you want to breakup by giving a breakup speech on “100 reasons to breakup with you”.  Many of your reasons may appear shallow to your partner.  And, it’s too easy to get sidetracked and argue over insignificant matters.  Just clearly state your reason for wanting a breakup in such a way that arguing is unnecessary:

“I’m no longer happy in this relationship.”

“I feel our differences are too great to have a lasting relationship.”

“I have a desire to date other people.”

“I feel I am too immature to settle down into a steady relationship.”

Note: Each of these reasons started with the word “I”.  That brings me to the next point.

4.  Give “I-messages” not “you-messages”

An “I-message” means the sender is taking responsibility for the breakup of the relationship, while a “you-message” casts blame on the other person.  Notice the difference between, “I am not happy when we are together and I often go home feeling hurt”, versus “You say things that hurt my feelings”.

5.  Be thoughtful

You can cushion your breakup by telling the other person what the relationship mean to you.  mention a few of the most admirable traits of the person, “I love your sense of humor. I want to be your friend, but I don’t want to be dating with you”.

It may be thoughtful to warn your steady about a possible breakup.  But, don’t keep threatening and then do nothing about it. No one enjoys a yo-yo existence – up one day and down the next.  Be decisive.  In the long run it is the least painful way.

Technorati Tags: breakup gracefully, relationship breakup

If you are in despair and breaking down… wipe your tears off your eyes. And, just listen up…

If your ex is dating someone else… let him or her be. Perhaps he / she is dating someone else to get over you. Does this make sense?

This is called a rebound relationship but this keeps people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used to help people move on from a real love.

That’s the key to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.

So, what must you do now?

First, it does not matter whose fault it is whether it is your or hers.  It does not matter who is right or wrong or who called the relationship off or in fact, who wins…  What matters is that you have a real love.

Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.

Do you really love him?  Do you really love her? If she is in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship.   If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.”  If you were into music and politics, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.

The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons. Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy. And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.

Let me give you a tip:  Most relationships thrives on differences and not things common. That’s why we are made man and woman, strong and weak, beautiful and “ugly”… (well, I mean manly).  But, it’s just God’s way of letting us complementing our partners and making the most of the love relationship in life.

Getting back to your current relationship, if she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship. You can use the time she is with the rebound man to improve yourself.

Let the rebound relationship run its course.   Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she will start to see the flaws in him.  After a month or so with rebound man, you will start to look pretty good.

That is why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away.

Accept the breakup… OK, ok don’t freak out.  This is not the end of the world.  You can do this.  Let your love prevails (if you really love her).

Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship.  When she is ready to make a move, be magnanimous.  Don’t take revenge… Welcome her back graciously.  Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.

Learn to love, to forgive, to really love unconditionally.  This is where your love is put to the test.

Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

• Do not try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her discover this on her own.
• Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But move on. She knows the real reason she loves you.
• Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.
• Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.
• Never, ever beg her to take you back.

When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship.  You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t despair. The rebound relationship is a sign that she’s still in love with you.

Take care… and talk to you soon.  God bless!

Technorati Tags: get ex back, in the verge of a breakup, rebound relationship, Save My Relationship