How Do You Know If Your Love Is Real?

What is the Real Thing?  What is Real Love all about…?  Listen to the songs, poems, stories and love letters written by others in love.  Your experience may feel unique, but the love experience is really so universal that it is so recognizable:

Love makes you feel strong, generous, and confident – and devoted to the man who brings out those feelings.

Love makes you feel connected to him – body to body, mind to mind, and soul to soul.

Love makes you feel beautiful – inside and out.

Love makes you feel loving.

The capacity to love is inborn in us.  It’s part of our human nature.  We can choose to give it, or not.  We can let it grow, or not.  It’s ours.  If one romance doesn’t work, we can give our love again.  It’s ours.

If you’ve never felt real love, let me assure you that you will know it when you feel it.

And even though I’m saying that we should settle for no less than falling wildly in love, I’m not suggesting that we are, or should be, hopeless romantics.  Just the opposite.  Sure, women read more romantic novels than men.  But, in fact, women are not infatuated more easily or more often than men but women are breathtakingly practical.

Question: If a man or woman had all the qualities you desired, would you marry this person if you were not in love with her or him?

Answer: It is found that 65% of men said they wouldn’t marry if they were not “in love”, but 76% of the women said they would marry the person.

Women didn’t have to be “in love” with a guy to marry him – they just had to find him lovable.  Nonetheless, women are not wrong in believing that their infatuations are more intense than those of men.  Infatuation is always and only a stage of feeling, not a final state. Women sometimes sadly, sometimes happily, recognize that this is so… but not until it’s over.

So, how do I find real love?

Find one lovable person who finds you lovable in return.  It’s a numbers game.  It’s about timing.  It’s about self-respect and zero tolerence for anyone who doesn’t treat you with respect.  It’s about knowing when it’s not you, and then what to do.  It’s about recognizing when to have fun and when to run, when to meet him halfway and when to say “no way.”  it’s about no self-blame and no man-made pain.

After you have found Mr. Imperfect but perfectly Lovable, love him.  Love him because loving feels so good, and it’s so good for you.  It’s a natural human capacity, and the more you use it, the more it will grow.  If it isn’t appreciated and reciprocated, find someone who will love your love. And while you are looking, don’t deprive yourself of the joy of loving.  make a list of your loved ones, and make sure that you’re on that list, too.

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