When To Give Up Getting Your Ex Back

argue breakupOk.  Let’s assume that you are perfectly lovable and you love your ex very much.  But, you can’t just second-guess yourself expect to give your ex a third and fourth chance in the relationship when he comes crawling back to you.  When do you really know that your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend is not worth it?  What are the warning signs, that you must pay attention to and if you find them, just shake off the dust off your ex and move on?

Warning Sign #1: Abuse

Run for your life if you find that you are dealing with psychological abuse, especially if you think it’s deliberate and not just the result of ignorance or insensitivity. Forget about your ex if he or she gives you constant criticism, guilt trips, bullying, double messages or even teasing.  If you are always preparing for a defense, waiting for an attack, it can be very exhausting emotionally and will affect your self-esteem big time.

We become susceptible to depression, sleeplessness and irritability.  If your ex makes you feel helpless or hopeless of your future all the time, just leave him… give him up.

Run even faster if your ex had been abusive physically.  Don’t think it is your fault.  One in every three women is assaulted by her partner. Two of every three women who are physically abused after marriage had been abused while they were still dating.

Remember if you experience verbal put-downs followed by condescending and annoyed insults; which leads to threats of physical violence, you ex is NOT WORTH IT.  Leave now.

Don’t let yourself believe that his good education or a wealthy family background makes you safe.  Us your intuition, and self-protective instincts.

Warning Sign #2: Jealousy

Forget about the old fashion jeaslousy love that you need to be jealous to be wildly in love.  But, let’s face it… LOVE IS NOT JEALOUS.  It might feel flattering at first, but great jealousy is always a great problem.

If your ex is jealous about you being with your friends, acquaintances or even family, eventually your life will start to diminish and not enhanced.  A jealous lover is an angry lover.

If you think you can make him or her secure enough that your partner’s jealousy will subside, think again.  Extreme jealousy, makes the other partner feel insecure, and it’s lethal for love.

Warning Sign #3: Unfaithfulness

Forget about your ex if he or she had been unfaithful to you.  In fact, think twice if he is being unfaithful to someone else when he was with you, or if he was unfaifhful to his previous partner – even if she forgave him!  You may forgive… but you may never forget.

Stop blaming yourself if he cheated.  It’s not you, it’s definitely him.  The number one reason that faithful men do not cheat isn’t because it is greater love, but it is greater commitment and it is because “they promised”.

Ninety percent of American men say they believe affairs “are always or almost always wrong.”  Yet one in four do it anyway.  Look for one of the other three!

Warning Sign #4: Liars

If your ex lies to you, just forget about him or her.  Sometimes it’s white lies to make others feel good (ie. thanks I love the sweater) or to make you feel good (ie. I’m a sensitive kind of guy).

If he tells big lies to get himself out of trouble or to manipulate… you have to be very careful.  Habitual liars typically know right from wrong – but they do not particularly care.

Learn how to spot liars… it’s not easy.  Be alert and if you feel that you partner seems to good to be true, probably he is.

Warning Sign #5: (Perpetually) Unemployed or needy

If your ex is a bump and gets fired from his job again and again.  It’s not about the money… but it’s about playing well with others.  Probably he is having some bad luck.  Of course, but could he be unappreciated time and again.  And, most of the time, he’s probably depressed, low in self-esteem and full of anger.  I guess you could stick with him but you don’t really need a needy person you know.

What I’m saying here is if you know your ex is needing help, money, support, encouragement ALL THE TIME, he or she is sucking your life away.  He is too self-centered to be in a relationship in the first place.  So… say your goodbyes and run.


These are the signs which when you see them, do remember what you have read here… No need to cry for your ex back.  He or she is not worth it if they fall in any of these categories.

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Shawna Mason

Loves to reach out to young people in relationships issues and comes online to offer help and advice. She hopes you are learning a lot from articles on this website and wish that your love relationships will get better as you get along.